


The Risk We Take

by MisterStealYoGirl



Series: Submission Verse [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Bottom Magnus Bane, Cock Rings, Dom Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rimming, Rope Bondage, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safeword Use, Spanking, Sub Alec Lightwood, Top Alec Lightwood, it'll make sense when you read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 21:45:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17231750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisterStealYoGirl/pseuds/MisterStealYoGirl
Summary: Little known fact: safewords are not just for submissives





	The Risk We Take

**Author's Note:**

> To make a long story very short, this story has been in the making for a very long time. Over a year in fact. I haven't ever written smut before so this fic fought me every step of the way in that section.
> 
> So a very belated Merry Christmas, my lovelies, and a Happy New Year.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was the yelp that pulled Magnus out of his headspace. Alexander had never yelped during a scene before. Moaned, whimpered, even screamed. But never yelped. And Magnus decidedly didn’t like that sound. It implied something was wrong.

  
  
He supposed it made sense that Alec would let out hurt noises. It was an intense beating he was taking this scene. (Alexander didn’t really have much of a pain kink, but every so often he’d get in a mood and provoke Magnus to the point they were at now.) Still, Magnus lowered the flogger and looked Alec over.

  
  
Tear tracks stained his face, his wrists were red from where they’d been straining against the ropes that bound them, and his ass was covered in lash marks, but that was all typical of a scene like this. Magnus couldn’t see anything out of place, but there had to be something he’d done wrong. Worry started to seep in from every corner of his mind. He’d hurt Alec— and not how he meant to hurt him, how he’d sworn when they first discussed this dynamic that he never would. He’d hurt Alec in a way that brought pain without pleasure. Alec may never forgive him.

  
  
“Magnus?” Alec whispered, his voice rough from the screams.

  
  
“I didn’t ask you to speak, Alexander!” Magnus snapped on instinct. He immediately winced. In a calm voice, he asked, “Color?”

  
  
“Green,” Alec breathed, still a little hoarse.

  
  
That was a good sign. Alec was still enjoying himself despite whatever had caused the out of place yelp. That should have been enough to calm Magnus’ fears.

  
  
But it wasn’t.

  
  
_ You hurt him.  _ His mind whispered. _ He’s trusted you, made himself vulnerable to you, and you’ve betrayed that. _

__   
  
It was an accident. He’d never meant to hurt Alexander. His beloved shadowhunter was everything to him.

  
  
Still, the voice telling him that Alec would resent him refused to be silenced. It told him that Alec was lying about his color to spare him the worry. It told him that Alec would never be able to trust him again, that his angel would leave. And worst of all, it made Magnus uncertain he could be trusted. If he had hurt Alec by accident while trying to bring pleasure, there was no telling what might happen if he lost control. He couldn’t be trusted with the power he’d been given. 

  
  
And try as he might, Magnus couldn’t make the thoughts stop. He couldn’t slip back into the headspace of the Dom he’d been playing. And he definitely couldn’t bring himself to hit his boyfriend in the state he was in.

  
  
Magnus dropped the flogger, barely noticing when it clattered against the floor. Everything about this was wrong. He felt sick to his stomach at the sight of Alec laying there, helpless to his whims.   


  
_ Your careless whims hurt him _ .  
  
  
He snapped his fingers and the bonds holding Alec in position vanished. Alec gasped at the suddenness and fell to bed, breaking form. He scrambled to get back into place, muttering an apology. It made Magnus nauseous all over again.

  
  
“Up,” he commanded frantically. “Get up.”

  
  
Alec moved as quickly as he was able, one of his wrists twisting awkwardly as he pushed himself up off the bed. His hands were probably still numb from the lack of circulation. That was Magnus’ fault. The rope had been too tight.

  
  
Alec stood, facing Magnus. He clasped his hands behind his back, looking every bit like a soldier at parade rest, and dropped his gaze to the floor. A picture of submission. Normally, a view like this would ignite a fire in Magnus’ abdomen. Now it felt as out of place as the yelp that had started this disaster.

  
  
“No,” he growled in frustration. “Look at me.”

  
  
And Alec did. Pupils still blown with lust and lips still swollen from taking Magnus’ cock so beautifully earlier. 

  
  
Magnus didn’t deserve to be looked at like that. 

  
  
“Stop that,” he snapped. He recoiled internally at how bad it sounded.

  
  
Alec’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand the order.”

  
  
Magnus stopped his foot, angry at his own inability to communicate with his boyfriend all of the sudden. Alec flinched. Panic flashed through his submissive’s eyes, and Lilith help him, now Magnus had really done it. Alec was afraid of him.

  
  
The tears came unbidden. He finally found the word he was searching for, the one that would make Alec see his need.

  
  
“Red,” he choked out, then broke down into heaving sobs.

  
  
Alec was beside him in an instant, hovering close but not touching him. Magnus was grateful because he was sure something bad would happen if Alec touched him right now. And wasn’t it just like Alec to always know exactly what Magnus needed?

  
  
“Magnus,” Alec murmured softly. “Easy Magnus. You did good. You did so good.”

  
  
Alec continued to mutter comfortingly near Magnus’ ear. It was same meaningless words Magnus would use on the rare occasion that Alec chose to safeword, reminding Alec how important it was that he had stopped the scene, that Magnus was glad he had and proud of his bravery. But somehow, it was exactly what Magnus needed to hear in this moment. That he and Alec were both okay and safe. That Alec wasn’t upset with him. Magnus had done the right thing.

  
  
Magnus didn’t know how long it took for the words to sink in and the voice in head to stop tormenting him. All he knew was his body was rigid when the tears finally stopped coming and he felt like he could calm down. He took a handful of deep breaths and looked up at Alexander.

  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said even though he knew he didn’t have to.

  
  
Alec shook his head. “Don’t be. I’m glad you used our safeword. That’s what it’s for. I’m sorry I didn’t notice something was wrong sooner.”

  
  
Magnus rolled his eyes fondly. Leave it to his angel to find a way to shoulder a blame that wasn’t his.

  
  
Magnus reached for him, needing to be held, and Alec met him halfway. An indescribable relief washed through Magnus as was pulled into Alec’s embrace. But, it was cut short by a wave of guilt as he felt Alec’s undoubtedly painful erection pressed between them, still restricted by the cock ring Magnus had forgotten about. He banished it with a flick of his wrist.

 

“Alexander,” he began apologetically, but was promptly cut off.

 

“Don’t,” Alec said forcefully. “Don’t you dare.”

 

So Magnus didn’t.

 

Instead he just basked in the comfort Alec offered. Let the sweet nothings he whispered bring a quiet peace to him mind. There was no scene, no power dynamic, just him and his boyfriend, holding each other in their room.

 

“Magnus,” Alec murmured eventually. “What happened?”

 

“I hurt you,” he said, trying not to get worked up again.

 

“What?” Alec looked genuinely confused. “When?”

 

“You yelped,” Magnus said. Was Alec trying to spare his feelings? He had thought it was obvious.

 

Understanding dawned on Alec’s face. “One of the blows landed across my back instead of on my ass. I yelped because it was unexpected.”

 

Magnus gasped. He knew the dangers of bringing down an implement of punishment onto a sub’s back; he’d seen enough of the internal damage it could cause in his life. His magic reached out of its own accord, checking Alec for ruptures or fractures. He was grateful his boyfriend said nothing about it, silently letting him fuss. Alec knew him well; Magnus wouldn’t feel certain until he’d inspected it to his own satisfaction.

 

Of course, Alec would never lie to Magnus, especially not about something this serious. His check-up confirmed that his shadowhunter was as fine as he said he felt. Magnus was relieved. His mistake was only that, a mistake. And a little one, at that.

 

Magnus relaxed as his magic withdrew. He nodded. “You’re okay.”

 

“I’m okay,” Alec repeated softly. “Are you okay?”

 

Magnus gave it a moment of thought, but really the answer was simple. “As long as you are.”

 

Alec beamed at him. “May I kiss you?”

 

Magnus could never say no to that.

 

He stepped back into Alec’s space and cupped his face. He closed the gap between them and kissed Alec deeply, trying to convey just how thankful he was to have Alec as his partner. No amount of words would ever seem sufficient, so he poured his love into the kiss.

 

Soon, though, the kiss turned from sweet to sensual as Magnus claimed his lover’s mouth. The deep-seated desire took root in him again and his body thrummed with the need to be inside Alexander. Not surprisingly, but perhaps somewhat disappointingly, the Dom in him stayed quiet. It appeared Magnus would not see his headspace again tonight.

 

He knew Alec wouldn’t mind. They still had vanilla sex once in while, when they couldn’t be bothered with the fanfare of scene-building or when they felt more like love-making. And it wouldn’t be the first time they’d dropped a scene in favor of a different kind of passion.

 

Alec pulled back from him with a gasp. “Magnus, wait.”

 

And Magnus waited. Sure, he was pouting about it, but he waited.

 

“Are you sure?” Alec whispered. “I just wanted to kiss you. I’m not trying to push you…”

 

Magnus caressed his face. His Alexander was always such a gentleman. He was the one with bruises and lashes, yet here he was checking on Magnus. Magnus, who had already come once, while Alec had stayed denied. And Alec didn’t seem to care at all if he never came again; he just wanted to see to Magnus’ needs.

 

It was overwhelming.

 

“I’m sure, my darling,” he answered easily. “But I’m afraid you’ve seen the last of your Dom for tonight.”

 

It seemed only fair to warn him. Magnus braced himself for the disappointment that may cross Alec’s face before he could check it. But it didn’t come. Alec held his gaze steady.

 

“I don’t need my Dom,” he said softly. “I just need you.”

 

Magnus needed him too. 

 

Desperately.

 

Right  _ now _ .

 

Magnus knew how to impress his boyfriend, both in a scene and out of it. So he tossed Alec onto the bed like he weighed nothing, a move that never failed to make his angel gasp. With a flash of magic, Magnus banished his clothes to Lilith knows where; and if he’d done with a little more flare than necessary just to make Alec gape at him as he always did, who could blame him? Magnus was nothing if not a showman in the bedroom.

 

Alec’s eyes were hazy with lust again and this time Magnus felt it ignite every nerve in his body. And the way Alec looked at Magnus, somehow hungry and also reverent, was enough to make Magnus know what he wanted first. He longed for the taste of his boyfriend on his tongue. 

 

He didn’t get far. Magnus had only dropped the first kiss on Alec’s chest when his shadowhunter stopped him. 

 

Alec tugged lightly on his hair. “Do you trust me?”

 

They both knew there was only one answer to that.

 

“With my life, Alexander.”

 

Alec sat up and pushed Magnus down onto the bed, effectively changing their positions. Magnus wasn’t sure what was going to happen next but he stood by what he said; he trusted Alec entirely. Another wave of anticipation crashed over him.

 

Alec kissed Magnus’ lips first, briefly, before taking a detour up his jaw.

 

“Would you like you know what I’m going to do to you?” He whispered in a way that sent a shiver down Magnus’ spine. Magnus could only nod. “I’m going to worship every inch of you. And then, I’m going to make love to you. And it still won’t be a fraction of what you deserve.”

 

Magnus felt his heart swell. Alec never ceased to amaze him; Magnus himself hadn’t even known he needed this until Alec said it.

 

“Please,” Magnus breathed.

 

Alec wasted no time, kissing, licking, sucking every inch of exposed skin. Chest, abdomen, arms, thighs. Magnus couldn’t tell how long they had been at it before Alec asked him to turn over and did the same to his shoulders and back. All he knew isn’t the time his lover stopped Magnus was sure he might die if Alec didn’t get to love-making part soon.

 

Just as Magnus started to seriously consider begging Alec to  _ get on with it _ , Alec’s mouth dipped south. Alec’s kiss trail frustratingly covered every inch of Magnus’ ass before he finally spread Magnus open. The first wet-hot swipe of Alec’s tongue had Magnus crying out. It was everything he could not to rock his hips back.

 

“Alec!”

 

He was answered with another long broad lick before the first swirl of Alec’s tongue around his rim nearly made his arms give out. Magnus cursed in every language he could think of as Alec threw himself into pleasuring him with the same single-minded focus and determination as he did everything else in life. Magnus was helpless to do anything but lose himself in it, unabashedly unfiltered noises leaving his mouth in a steady stream. 

 

Magnus’ cock was leaking precome all over their gold sheets when he felt Alec gently tap his hip. It took a moment for Magnus’ brain to come back online enough to realize what Alec was asking for. He summoned the lube with a snap of his fingers.

 

“You okay?” Alec asked as he opened the cap and presumably coated his fingers.

 

“Perfect,” Magnus moaned. And it was true.

 

Alec’s now lubed finger traced Magnus’ spit-slick rim. Magnus took a deep breath. There was no way to force the muscle to relax, but being tensed up in anticipation wouldn’t help. Alec patiently coaxed his finger into Magnus, inch by infuriating inch. Magnus resisted the urge to speed up the process with magic; knowing Alec, he’d still insist on taking the time to do it manually anyway.

 

Approximately half Magnus’ lifetime later, Alec finally had his finger fully inside. He kept impressively still while Magnus’ hole fluttered around the intrusion. It was only when Magnus bucked his hips that Alec moved, gently and maddeningly pulling out and pushing back in. Meanwhile, Alec’s lips were on his shoulder, murmuring soothingly into his skin.

 

It had to have been hours later when Alec finally pushed a second finger in along with the first, bringing the promise of finally doing something interesting. And gods above, did Alec deliver. Magnus felt like he might shake apart as Alec’s fingers twisted and scissored inside him. Stars danced across his vision as Alec brushed his prostate.

 

The third finger came quick and was gone almost as fast. It seemed his angel was finally feeling as impatient as Magnus was. Alec worked him open with fast strokes until he was satisfied Magnus was ready for him. The loss of his fingers drew an almost embarrassing whine from Magnus’ throat. The time it took Alec to coat his cock in lube was torture.

 

But then Magnus felt one hand on his hip, holding him in place, the tip of Alexander’s cock finally pressed against his entrance, and it was worth the wait. In the same annoyingly slow pace as before, he pushed into Magnus. Alec’s attention to detail meant the slide was smooth and painless, allowing Magnus to feel the pleasure of every inch of their connection. Magnus didn’t bottom often, even when they forewent their dynamic, which made it all the more intense. 

 

When Alec bottomed out, Magnus could have come on the spot from how full he felt, in both his body and heart. Here Alec was taking such tender and attentive care of him after, accident though it may have been, Magnus had hurt him. Magnus thought he might burst from the emotion of it all.

 

Alec pulled Magnus upright, pressing Magnus close to his chest and kissing his neck and jaw as he pulled almost all the way back out. He murmured sweet nothings as he set a moderate pace, for which Magnus was grateful. The whole thing was so beautifully intimate that Magnus may or may not have had tears in his eyes.

 

Alec shifted his hips a little and found Magnus’ prostate on the next thrust. Magnus got lost in sensation: Alec’s lips on his neck, hand stroking him in time with each drag of his own cock inside. Every part of Magnus was enveloped in his lover leaving no room for doubt to creep back in.

 

He murmured the shadowhunter’s name over and over like a prayer, tears flowing freely. His orgasm was intense and sudden, painting his chest white as he tossed his head and arched his back, ass clenching around Alec inside him. Alec worked him through it and followed him over the edge of pleasure just a few thrusts later, hoarsely crying out Magnus’ name.

 

Alec, Raziel bless him, didn’t let go as they came down from the heights together. Magnus felt another surge of gratitude and love for the way Alec continued to read him like an open book, anticipating his needs before he himself knew them. How his boyfriend could know that Magnus wasn’t prepared for this moment to end was beyond his current cognitive ability, but it brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes.

 

Magnus had never believed in soulmates or the one great love of his life but Alec had the uncanny gift of making him reconsider that stance.

 

It took several long minutes for Magnus to recover enough to move. He carefully extricated himself from Alec’s lap, waved away the mess they’d made, and laid them both down. He pulled Alec close and summoned the blanket they used for aftercare. Alec has still taken a beating even though they’d abandoned the scene.

 

They stayed there for a while, basking in each other and the afterglow. They traded lazy satiated kisses. Magnus caught himself dozing off a time or two. But mostly, they just assessed each other, Alec’s physical health, Magnus’ mental state.

 

When Magnus thought an appropriate amount of time had passed, he sat up and summoned the aloe lotion for Alec’s lash marks.

 

Alec caught his hand. “Magnus, you don’t have to…”

 

“I do,” Magnus interrupted. “I let you take care of me, now please let me take care of you.”

 

Alec let go of his hand and nodded. Without another word he turned over onto his stomach and let Magnus get to work, sighing contentedly at the first cool touch of lotion. Magnus would save his “I told you so” for later.

 

Silence reigned while Magnus used the lotion and a little bit of magic to soothe the sting, both of the punishment and of any remaining guilt he felt. When he was sure he’d done all he could to strike the balance between too much and not enough, Magnus let himself lay back down beside Alec. He pulled him close again and smiled at how relaxed he looked. They’d be okay for sure, but Magnus knew they had to talk. He was dreading it.

 

Alec didn’t let him spiral. He spoke up immediately. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

 

Stupid shadowhunter intuition.

 

Magnus hesitated but there was no point in lying. “Will you just listen until I’m finished?” He asked, knowing he’d only be able to say it all at once. At Alec’s nod he continued. “Alexander, I know you’re not holding it against me, but I do want to apologize. I could have seriously hurt you with my carelessness and I would never have forgiven myself if I did. You’ve entrusted me with your care, and I never want to take that for granted. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, that I violated your trust.”

 

“I forgive you,” Alec whispered, caressing Magnus’ face. “Accidents happen. This lifestyle comes with risks. Risks we both accepted into our relationship when we added this dynamic.”

 

Magnus tried to object but Alec shushed him.

 

“Let me finish. Magnus, I know you’d never intentionally hurt me. And I still trust you, with my heart, my submission, my life.”

 

Magnus couldn’t have been more relieved to hear those words. He still wasn’t entirely sure that he deserved Alec’s grace, but he had it. He kissed Alec softly, because he could.

 

“I love you,” Alec mumbled against his lips.

 

“I love you too, sweet boy,” Magnus answered. “More than you know.”

 

Magnus couldn’t pour all the love he felt for his boyfriend into the kiss that followed, but Angels strike him down if he didn’t try.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I've done the subject justice. I hope I've done my boys justice. I hope I've done this lifestyle justice. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Twitter: @userwhatever15  
> Tumblr: claiabelle


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